Alcoholism is a medical condition that is caused by a combination of genetic, environmental, social, and psychological factors. It changes the way the brain works and makes it hard for the person to control their drinking or stop even when they want to. Alcoholism is not a moral weakness or a lack of willpower. It is a treatable disease that requires professional help.

Let’s take a look at some of AUD’s causes.

Genetic

Some people may have a genetic predisposition to alcohol abuse, meaning they inherit certain genes that make them more vulnerable to developing alcohol dependence or addiction. For example, some genes may affect

• how the body metabolizes alcohol
• how the brain responds to alcohol
• how the person feels pleasure or reward from drinking

Environmental

• growing up or living in a stressful or chaotic environment
• witnessing or experiencing violence or trauma
• having easy access to alcohol
• being surrounded by peers or family members who drink excessively

Social

• fitting in with their friends
• coping with social anxiety
• conforming to gender roles, or
• emulating celebrities or role models who drink

Psychological

• self-medicating for depression, anxiety, or trauma
• expressing their anger or frustration
• escaping from reality, or
• enhancing their mood or confidence

Alcoholism is not your fault or theirs, so don’t blame them or yourself for what’s happening in their lives.

You are not responsible for their actions or choices.

Blaming yourself or them will only make you feel guilty, angry, or resentful, and may damage your relationship. Instead, try to be compassionate and understanding of what they are going through.

Enabling means doing things that make it easier for your loved one to drink or avoid facing the negative effects of their drinking, such as

• making excuses for them
• taking over their responsibilities
• buying them alcohol
• drinking with them, or
• cleaning up their messes

Enabling may seem like helping, but it actually prevents them from realizing the extent of their problem and seeking help.

You may think that if you nag, plead, threaten, or bargain with your loved one, they will stop drinking or drink less. However, this rarely works and may backfire.

You cannot control their drinking or make them change.

They have to decide for themselves that they want to quit and get help.

Trying to control their drinking may also make them feel defensive, angry, or rebellious, and push them away from you.

The best time to talk to your loved one about their drinking is when they are sober and calm. Avoid arguing with them when they are drunk or hungover, as this may lead to conflict or violence.

Be honest and respectful, and use “I” statements to express how their drinking affects you and how you feel about it, such as:

• “I’m worried about your health and safety when you drink so much”
• “I feel hurt and lonely when you choose alcohol over me”

Avoid blaming, criticizing, or judging them, as this may make them defensive or ashamed.

Alcoholism is a serious condition that requires professional treatment. There are many options available for alcoholics, such as these support groups:

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)

The worldwide organization of peer-facilitated support groups that helps people recover from alcohol use disorder.

SMART Recovery

Self-Management and Recovery Training (SMART) Recovery is like AA but without the religious aspects typically associated with AA. SMART Recovery is based on current scientific knowledge of addiction and is committed to evolving the program as researchers learn more about addiction recovery.

Al-Anon

Not to be confused with Alcoholics Anonymous, Al Anon is an international mutual support program for people whose lives have been affected by someone else’s drinking.

Alateen

An offshoot of Al-Anon, Alateen is a fellowship designed for the younger relatives and friends of alcoholics. Teenagers aged 13 to 18 can meet other teens who are in similar situations.

Women for Sobriety

Founded in 1975, Women for Sobriety is dedicated to helping women (and those who identify as women) through the addiction recovery process.

Dealing with someone who might be an alcoholic can be stressful and exhausting. It can affect your physical, mental, emotional, and social well-being. You may neglect your own needs and interests while focusing on your loved one’s problem. You may also feel isolated, depressed, anxious, angry, or hopeless.

That’s why it’s important to take care of yourself and seek support for yourself. You can do this by:

• eating well
• sleeping well
• exercising regularly
• avoiding drugs or alcohol
• engaging in stress-relieving activities such as
• meditation
• yoga
• focusing on your hobbies
• listening to music
• setting boundaries and limits with your loved one and sticking to them
• seeking counseling or therapy for yourself if you need it
• joining a support group for family members or friends of alcohol (such as those listed above)